Death can have so many emotions surrounding it. Almost everyone has felt the pain of losing someone and it is hard not to equate that with thoughts of our own death. For me I couldn't get myself to plan for something that I consciously made an effort not to think or talk about.
We are all facing the inevitably and thinking about preparing for death will undoubtedly come up at some point, but take just one second to consider how you may have felt when you lost someone and imagine if could be different.
Sometimes it can feel silly thinking about our mortality, or the situation may be one where it is scary to think of what would happen if we were no longer around. For me it was fear.
No one wants to think upon this moment in the context of themselves or anyone else they love, but there is no way to know when and how long you will be around to take care of your family. As a mother it has always been difficult for me to think about being out of the picture. The very idea of my children not having me to tell them how much I love them, it literally makes me ache inside. Up until recently I became quite good at putting it out of my mind completely, but as sometimes happens when we try to ignore something, the more I tried not to think about it the more it would spring up in my mind.
I don't remember how exactly but somewhere along the way I began to think about the consequences that would face my children by not thinking about it and instead I chose to plan for the eventuality that someday I may not be there(I pray not until they are grown).
And so that is where I am, here, saying out loud that your life matters. Every life is valuable to everyone who is close to them. You may be gone but your family will benefit immensely from your planning for this moment. It never will be a happy topic to discuss or plan for, but it can be dealt with in a way that provides you with peace of mind knowing your family is prepared as much as they can be, and we can never know but it is nice to think it may make it somewhat easier.
This does not have to just be about sitting in a lawyers office drafting legal paperwork regarding your assets (although that is important), what I am talking about is having the ability to give your loved ones the chance to treasure and value your story, your ancestry, and receive some comfort from you even in death.
First things first, here are 5 important ways you can prepare for death:
- Write a list of all your assets.
- Use an estate lawyer and draw up an estate plan that will best benefit the beneficiaries of your property. Many people think they just need a will but there may be better options for your situation such as a living trust or you may need to address guardianship of children and a lawyer is the best person to help you.
- Make sure that you include advanced health directives, health care proxies, or living wills in your estate plan this is something that a lawyer can help with also. These documents help decide your medical care in any situation and allow people to respect your wishes regarding your health.
- Consider what digital property you have- this can be blogs, social media accounts, email, online friends, accounts that are billing you, websites you own. As well as information that your family may need- social security, locations of bank accounts, retirement and pension information, health care information, safe deposit boxes, contacts of people you work with - and what you want to happen with these or who will need this information.
- Think about what words you want to say that are important that you know your loved ones need or want to hear in the event that you can't be there to tell them.
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